Today, I read an article from the Sunday Times, "One SMS can mar ties" , by Mavis Toh, telling us of how the evloution of digital age has made bonding between teachers and students easier, resulting in the blurring of boundaries that once stood between teachers and students.
He provided a real example of a teacher who once gave out his handphone number and email to students only to attract the unwanted attention of one 15-year old student who not only called him in the wee hours to chat, but also sent him "I love you" messages. His intention for providing his contact details were good, so that his students who couldn't make it to class can contact him about what was taught, but what he couldn't control was how the student were to react to the his availability of being contacted at all times. Thankfully for that girl (well, I don't know how thankful she is or did she really want to further her relationship with her teacher) , this teacher did not have any malicious intentions and did the right thing in distancing himself from her and learning never to give out his hp number again. This case ended here and did not develop into any other deeper relationships that our society frowns upon or it would have been a bigger headline that I'm sure you would have read or heard.
The question here that is swirling within my thoughts is, what is the appropriate level of communication between a teacher and a student?
Well, I've never ever taken a teacher's or a lecturer's hp number down before, because I do not see a need to call or sms my teacher and ask what I've missed in class as the better alternative for me is to always go down the next day and ask him/her what I missed. I think a teacher would only be putting him/herself into the dangerously blurred boundaries if he/she give out her personal contact number because what could he/she do when the student starts confiding in him/her? Does the teacher ignore the student? what would be the consequences if the teacher does that? even if the teacher was to announce that students should only contact him/her regarding school work, would it then be ethical for the teacher to ignore the students other personal problems?
I believe that the social roles between teachers and students should remain one of school/academic relations and teachers should never get too personal with students. Although there are many cases, as also pointed in the article, where students benefited from the personal help of teachers, I still strongly stand on the side where the teacher should not put themselves into such risks that could gather the unwanted and misinterpretated "love" of their students.
Any interpersonal relationship between a teacher and student should only develop once the latter has graduated from the tutorship of the teacher and hence is no longer subjected to any taboos that our society frowns upon.
If teachers or lecturers really want to make use of the technologies that are availble to us today to help students, personal contact information should never be the way, there are many other alternatives such as internet forums that the teacher could make use of.
I've written my thoughts, what's yours?
Should teachers give out their hp numbers? How should a teacher-student relationship be?
Hello,
I wasn't surprise when I first came across this article. It's all to common these days, everyone has their dirty little secrets. It's just that not all gets exposed. It's definitely wrong morally(refering to the recent news), however, I don't see why a teacher should not give their hp numbers to students. I do not think there's anything scandalous about giving out a hp number.
- Janson
I do agree that teacher and students should not get too personal. However, this teacher-student relationship is evolving. No longer are the days of teacher being allowed to hit student etc. The level of respect or fear of a teacher has decreased tremendously. Nowadays its common to even see teacher and students going out for a meal together. I guess, just like anything else, we got to find the right mix.
Can i say something crazy here?
I used to have a crush on a teacher in sec sch. But that was it. I am quite frankly taken aback by the recent case of student-teacher affair in the papers. Teachers back then drew the line between educator and friend. Much less sex partner.
Dont teachers have a sense of self-restrain?
Hey!
Really, this whole topic about the teacher-student relationship has recently been burning up Straits Times' online website.
I guess a lot of people are concerned over whether teachers should give their personal contact numbers out.
In my opinion, I really don't see a problem in that because, after all, it's the two people who need to restrain themselves. yeah.
Teachers and students can be friends and I totally respect that because there is really nothing wrong about it. But, don't over step your borders sometimes.
Although with this much said, I still believe that anything is possible between a teacher and a student as long as he/she is not teachering him/her anymore. (e.g. the student is out of school already) this has nothing wrong, because after all, teachers are humans too. It won't hurt anyone if they develop a relationship after he/she leaves school as a student right?
Well, I guess many still feel that teacher-student relationship is way over the top but welcome to the 21st century, if cloning is possible so is any relationship.
show some love! (:
spare the poor lovers!
Thanks all for your thoughts so far, I see that many touched on how teacher-student should be able to show some self-"restraint".
I think that is easier said than done and it would be easier if the handphone numbers not been given out at all! remember, most students are still young and immature (I know, I know, a pretty strong statement to make, but as farhan fraha mentioned, he did had a crush on his teacher last time!) and they have crushes on their teachers, just imagine what they'll do if they could have increase contact with a teacher! I'm not saying all student are like that, but there will be a few black sheep who would /might exploit a teachers concern and use the teacher's number not for any well intended purposes.
I feel that for any relationship to start, someone has to initiate it, and by the teacher giving his/her number, it is in a way initiated a relationship for the student who has a crush on the teacher!
so, I still think it would be best if the teacher not give out personal handphone contacts, after all, most students have internet access and having a internet forum to discuss class issues shouldn't hurt much should it?
A crush is called a crush because you're feeling that way even though the other person doesn't feel the same way in return.
So, if there is not reciprocate, there is no relationship.
I agree that there is no way to controlling how your emotions wonder about and catch the attention of the other party but, sometimes, at the most crunch the teacher is just a phone call away.
I do agree that opening a forum would be a good idea too but, it does take time. how about those who don't have internet access at home? not everyone is as fortunate. A mobile phone line however happens to be more feasible too. (: agreeable that most people have at least a phone line right? (:
so how, or what measures do you think would be necessary to be put in place to prevent any unwanted relationships?
As your may already know, relief teachers can be as young as 16 or those who just finished their A levels. It can get rather difficult when they happen to teach in their recent schools when the age difference between them and the students can be 1 or maybe 2 years. in the outside world 1-2 years aint too much a gap for a relationship however in a school environment the teacher-student relationship must be maintained. but especially with the improvements in technology and network websites like facebook, and the removal of social norms that teachers arent meant to be friendly, it is very much easier for the line to get murky. teachers find that the best way to communicate with their students is to be a friend, but where is that friendly line drawn.
interesting point there adrian., just where can the "friendly" line be drawn... Giving out personal numbers could be, in my opinion, one step too far..
and yes, as Adrian has also pointed out, sometimes teachers age gap with students could be small, but what about the recent cases of teacher/student relationships that included a wide age gap? even with a female teacher that was already married!
In my humble opinion, i think the safest and most straight forward way is to totally ban teachers from ever giving out personal numbers to students..
regarding the point on some students not being able to afford internet access. well, i think in SINGAPORE, at least, internet access is readily available in schools and even libraries, so having forums would still be the safest and most trusted method wouldn't it be?
I mean, wouldn't it be unfair for teachers to have to constantly be harassed by students even after school hours regarding even "school work" ? I believe they need a break too don't they?
i guess implementing a ban on teachers giving out phone numbers would be too drastic a measure. I believe there are times when a student needs to have a teacher's number, such as in the case of students facing family issues or even domestic violence. Are we to say that the teacher is wrong to give their number in this case? I doubt so.
We need to respect and treat teachers as adults who can think for themselves too. I am sure no teacher wishes to give their handphone number freely and to so many people. Who doesn't want to protect their privacy? Of course, for this to happen, rules need to be set, such as hours to call. But I'm sure teachers are capable of doing that themselves. Let's give credit to the teacher profession and not judge teachers based on a few black sheep.